How to Have a Thanksgiving Conversation About Politics Without Losing Your Mind
The holidays, everyone’s most and least favorite time of the year! With how heated public debate is in our country, it can be tough to gather as families without encountering frustrating political discussions. Rather than avoiding it at all costs, consider the following guide when encountering heated dinner table discussions with people who disagree with you, politically:
Be respectful, even if you aren’t being respected
Something that I really struggle with is that, because I work in the political arena, everyone assumes I am a partisan hack who only watches Fox News. With family and friends, I try very hard to respect where they are coming from, even if I feel that I’m not receiving respect. I completely understand that it’s easier said than done. But, if you are respectful, you will come out on top. You can be kind without agreeing with someone, and you can be respectful without feeling like you have to change your uncle’s crazy political beliefs. Keep name calling, raised voices, and crass language reserved for the pundits on cable news.
2. Make sure you listen as much as you talk
Something that would elevate discussions around dinner tables, and boardrooms around the world, is focusing on listening as much as you contribute to the conversation. I, personally, believe that nothing is more respectful than active listening, but it’s something I really struggle with. I try my hardest not to interrupt people and to show, with my body language, that whether or not I agree with them is irrelevant to my ability to truly listen, because that’s what’s most important. If someone feels heard, that’s a win in my book!
3. Ask clarifying questions
Asking clarifying questions that really help you understand where someone is coming from is a great way to diffuse a heated conversation. One of my favorites is, “Can you help me understand where you’re coming from?” This question forces the person to slow down and remove the emotion from the conversation by making it more about you than them. Questions also remind the person you’re talking to that the point of discussion is not to convince one another to change their mind, but to better understand one another.
4. Change the subject
The holidays are stressful enough, so don’t feel like you have to keep talking about a topic that you aren’t comfortable with. Using humor to change the subject can be really helpful. If you know you’re going to encounter a political discussion you’d rather not have, practice your one liner so that it easily rolls off your tongue.
The holidays are about unity, so there is no reason we should deepen the divide in our country when we’re celebrating in our homes. Keep an open mind, be respectful, and if everything else fails, ask for another piece of pie.