Civil Discourse: Broadening Political Thinking
Two kinds of political conversations are happening in our nation. The first is a lecturing conversation where one side gives an argument in a combative form and then the other side responds in similar fashion. In lecturing conversations both sides are entrenched in their thinking and rarely is a point made or an opinion moved. Each is ready to make his case before his opponent has finished her current point.
The other kind of conversation is an engaging conversation, where both sides truly want to understand what the other person is thinking on a subject. This kind of conversation is kinder, more open, with both sides ready to learn. Unfortunately, this kind of conversation is hard to come by in our current political climate. But this is the kind of conversation that makes our nation great.
How do we broaden our own political thinking and raise a broader-thinking generation?
Here are five ideas:
1. Remember, there is not one way to think. We each have different backgrounds, different upbringings, different biases, different education and different experience. Inevitably, these shape our political opinions. Remembering that others’ circumstances shape their opinions helps us to accept a differing point of view.
2. You don’t have to agree with it to understand it. Understanding a point without agreeing with it can actually affirm that the other party in the conversation has been heard. Validating the point and acknowledging that you understand it, even if you still disagree, can keep the conversation in a healthy and pleasant place.
3. Accept that you might be wrong. Sometimes we’re so afraid of losing the argument that we don’t give any room to seeing the flaws in our thinking. We surmise, “If she is right, I must be wrong.” But on many topics, differing opinions can exist simultaneously. More importantly, if we let both opinions hold space, we’re likely to find there is some truth to each point which allows us move to a place of mutual understanding and respect.
4. Don’t make assumptions about what the other person is thinking; believe the person who is talking. If the person you’re speaking with has reached a different conclusion on a political issue, listen to how that conclusion was reached. Believe him when he shares the experience or logic that moved him to this rational in the same way you want to be believed when you speak.
Often political conversations can be full of emotion and anxiety, but deescalating an exchange is simple. Listen closely to the emotional statement of your associate and then remove the emotional elements and parrot back the actual points that are being made.
5. Finally, when you speak, make your points using our three base emotions: happy, sad and fear.
I am happy you voted in our last election. I am sad that my candidate didn’t win. I am scared that his opponent won because of her stance on redistricting. I am afraid she might not be honest when she sits on the redistricting committee.
Each of these statements tells your associate how you feel without negating her feelings on the same subject. You remain open to hearing her response, allowing you to internalize and understand what she is sharing with you.
Having open, robust political conversations is important in a democracy. But not every conversation needs to be had; divisive, angry, finger-pointing conversations don’t move us forward. If you’re going to add to the political conversation make it as healthy, meaningful and interesting as you can. Be part of the good and not just the loud.