More Than One Right Way?
A long-time friend of mine is married to a member of the State Department. During their 20+ years of marriage they have had two children, moved 12 times and have lived on four continents. When we both had young families I asked her how she made those moves with children in tow? How did she and her husband manage to care for her family in so many different cultures?
She explained that it wasn’t as overwhelming as it sounded; her priorities were the same anywhere they moved. She had to figure out how to find good food—markets, bazaars, grocery stores, gardens, etc. She needed to get her kids into school—local school, American school on a neighboring base, private school, home-school, etc. She needed to help her children (and herself) find friends—school, play dates, clubs, teams, activities, etc. And she needed to know how to be safe—wear a burka, stay inside the base, carry a flashlight, carry identification, have money on hand, understand local mores, etc.
Though her goals were always the same, her biggest resource was being open to new ways to achieving them. She knew that what she had tried in one culture wouldn’t necessarily work in another culture, even to arrive at the same end results of food, schools, friends and safety.
Believing there is only one way to accomplish something can stunt our thinking in any undertaking, but it’s particularly true in the political arena where we can reach X through A, B, C, or M.
We each have different backgrounds, different upbringings, different biases, different educations and different experiences. Inevitably, differences shape our political opinions and the solutions we see as most viable. Remembering that others’ circumstances have also shaped their opinions and their solutions helps us consider and accept differing points of view.
The big box store you may have grown up with isn’t the only way to get food. The public school you went to isn’t the only way to get an education. Holding fast to the opinions of your parents, neighbors or mentors isn’t the only way to solve problems. Being too strident and judgmental in our thinking, too certain that there is one way to solve a problem, can hinder the problem-solving process. Being open to big ideas, clever solutions, open-minded conversations and new ways of doing things may give you the shake you need to play an important role in our political solutions, civil conversations and balanced thinking.