Cocktail Hour Don’ts: Conversation
We hear a lot about the importance of networking. While some people are pretty good at it, very few people actually like it. So if you are half-heartedly headed to your next event, work to get something out of it. You will have more success if you can keep the conversation on positive, light, interesting and funny topics. We’ve covered some of those here (LINK). Let’s talk about a few topics that should be avoided at cocktail hours.
Diets and Cleanses
Have you been eating keto for eight months? Drinking only juices this week? Sticking to paleo for the next six weeks? Congratulations! No one cares. Choose carefully what you can eat or drink and then do it but there is no need to share with others the difficulty/hunger/ pride/ success your are feeling.
Details of Your Job
Have a clear job title ready and one sentence that explains what you do. Talk generally about your field but refrain from talking about the fuse ball table and the great parking spot that you landed. Avoid complaining about your boss who micro-manages you or your colleague who makes broccoli in the common mircrowave everyday. Unless someone specifically asks about the culture of your company (maybe she just applied for a position) those are details that left at work.
Salaries
Companies win and workers lose when salaries are held too sacred to talk about. While salaries should be discussed between colleagues and peers, a cocktail party is not the right time or place. One-on-one, in small groups, with deliberate reasons - go for it. Mixing with a drink in hand, not the time.
Breakups and Exs
Breakups can be traumatizing. And processing through traumas are important for moving on. But save these topics for therapy or a night with your besties. New aquaninstences do not need to learn about your latest fight or how you kicked out your recent Ex.
Strong Negative Opinions
Do you think Adele’s latest album in overrated? Do you abhor the latest Marvel movie? Extremely uncomfortable with turtle necks? It is okay to have opinions but if they are all negative or extreme, take a step back. Likely few people will share your extreme view. Keep in mind, it’s fine to have opinions, even strong ones, but learn when they should be shared.
Politics
In this divisive climate politics is touchy. Among friends, at a rally, or with our partner, political talk is important. But in professional settings, the topics can be too polarizing. Work to get to know someone through their interests rather than who they voted for.
Religion
Religious conversations tied to traditions, food, or culture are a yes.. But dogma, beliefs, and doctrine can be too much for a cocktail hour.
The Party or Its Host
Avoid criticisms of the party, its offerings, or its organizer. If things are uncomfortable, feel free to go. But there is not need to talk about the drink that needs more soda, or the saltiness of the artichoke dip. Negative statements will reflect more on you than the host.
Attending cocktail parties can be beneficial as you are able to meet and talk with people who might not cross your path in any other way. Work to steer the conversations clear of any topics that are heavy, too personal, boring, long or negative. Check out some things you should talk about. Give and take in any conversation, erring on the side of listening more than talking. And keep your expectations realistic for the event. You never know how the person who is going to change your life, actually connects with you.
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