Soak It Up
Prevalence of social media, internet access, and streaming anything has all but removed most mysteries that youth once had to solve through context clues that may or may not have cleared up any confusion, lest seem uncool. The youth of today are far more informed than previous generations, but misinformation persists.
Social media would simply not be the same if old memes and hyped up lore didn’t cycle back into the collective consciousness every few years, but every once in a while the Internet delivers something so niche and obscure to the general public, that those previously in the know suddenly find the world’s magnifying glass squarely on what most deem, absolutely ludicrous, sadly ignorant behavior.
Over the weekend Twitter lost its collective composure upon a resurfacing of the term “soaking,” which seems like a prime opportunity to give a quick rundown of this distinct sex act attributed to horny Latter Day Saints, mostly students from Brigham Young University (BYU), a private university supported by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and founded by and named for its second president -- erm, the school, not the term.
Image credit: Big Foot Justice Comics
Internet lore has it that Mormon teens discovered the ultimate biblical loophole: inserting a penis into a vagina isn’t sex if there isn’t friction. Duh. Thus soaking was born -- along with a bunch of pseudonyms, with “Provo Float” nearly causing me to choke on my seltzer.
We’re not even going to touch on the “Provo push.”
As with many conservative ideologies and belief systems, prohibition of premarital sex is, humans are the pinnacle of creation. The internal conflict is profound; meant as a lesson in physical and emotional self-restraint and sagaciousness for the holiest of responsibilities. However, adherents to such doctrinal views must exist in the temporal, natural world of survival, driven by life’s necessities of food, shelter, sex, and sleep.
Once those hormones kick in, turning on full force during those awkward teen and young adult years, it can become quite challenging to remain personally faithful to such bodily restrictions, even with pro-”purity” support. So of course teens and adults for generations have tried to figure out ways to meet their natural desires, while remaining technically virgins -- eye opening back in my Catholic high school days, upon being told by a girl on my cheerleading squad that, “it obviously doesn’t count as a sin if it’s in the butt, since you can’t get pregnant.”
Obviously.