Child Brides: the danger of the power imbalance
Around the world and across the U.S., child brides are an example of inequities of power in a sexual relationship. In 18 states, there is no low age requirement for a bride. In most states, with the consent of a parent, a girl of any age can be married.
Utah has a long history of child brides, as reported in many form in the Utah Bee: here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.
When a child marries, there are many questions that should be asked surrounding this event. Who is making the choice? How much pressure does the bride feel to marry? Where is that pressure coming from? Is there a power imbalance in this union? What is the age gap?
Between 2000 and 2015, over 200,000 American children were married. Eighty seven percent (87%) of that number were girls, and 86% of them married adults. When a child marries an adult, a power imbalance is present. A large age gap creates a power imbalance which leads to abuse. Legally, there is a hard line between adults and children drawn at age 18, but it can be a morally gray area when one participant is 18 years old and the other is 21 years old. Realistically, they are peers.
“Equal partnership in marriage promotes health and prosperity and human flourishing,” writes Melinda Gates in her book The Moment of Lift. She continues, “It invites respect. It elevates both partners. And nothing is further from equal partnership than child marriage. In the all the ways that equal partnership is elevating, child marriage is degrading. It creates a power imbalance so vast that abuse is inevitable.”
A power imbalance in marriage can stunt the growth of a girl or young woman. In most circumstances, she no longer has the freedom to explore who she is, to dream of who she could be, and to question her circumstances.
While each individual is going to have a different maturity level, this is the guideline I live by: when one of the partners is under 18, a seven year gap in age is predatory. By the time a person turns 23, the age gap lessens because the 23-year-old is young but is five years removed from childhood and power equity can exist. Most people this age have enough power to be able to say no.
