The Downside of Dating Apps
by SONIA WEGLINSKI
Like many college students going into their freshmen year, I looked towards it as a time of self-development, growth, and opportunities. With that prospect, came excitement of meeting new people and making long-lasting connections. However, the COVID-19 pandemic changed many of those plans. A social barrier formed at a time when relationship-making is important for development. Dating became significantly more difficult as I couldn’t meet anyone naturally through a mutual class or school event. Whether it was from social isolation or pure boredom, I did the next best thing: I turned to dating apps.
Before my freshman year, I had never downloaded a dating app. Being a woman, I’ve heard stories all my life about the dangers of online dating and was apprehensive to try it. I knew that many sexual predators use online dating as a way of luring victims, most of them women. Likewise, from my girl friends who were active on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and so on, all of them have experienced some form of sexual harassment on them. In fact, 57% of women between 18-32 years old have received an unwanted sexually explicit image on dating apps. Sadly, poor male behavior is normalized and something that women just have to “deal with”. While I haven’t been online dating for very long, this became a reality for me.
On top of that, linking for the first time has always given me a truckload of anxiety. There’s so much pressure to view the other romantically from the first date, but most times I’m trying to figure out if I can handle being in the same room as them. Now with dating apps rising in popularity during the pandemic, I’m forced to take a leap of faith.
Miscommunication is also common with online dating — is this a hook up or date? And even if I’ve been texting the guy for a while, I never fully know what his intentions are, and I’m worried that I’ll be placed in an uncomfortable or dangerous situation. This is the unfortunate reality of being a woman. College-aged women are the target group for sexual violence; it’s common knowledge to share our locations with friends, bring pepper-spray, and have our phone battery at 100%.
It’s infuriating to feel like I have to be overly cautious with something as basic as a Tinder date. Although dating apps like Tinder and Bumble have implemented measures to prevent sexual violence from occurring, such as verifying users, more needs to be done. We can’t dismiss acts of “ordinary” forms of sexual harassment since it’s behind a screen. The normalization of inappropriate behavior from men on dating apps reinforces rape culture and contributes to the ever-growing fears women have on their safety.