Psychedelics: The Good The Bad and The Ugly
Written by: SAVANNAH BLAKE
Itasha first did mushrooms at Bonaroo during a Pink Floyd-ish set put on by Tool in 2007. During the light show, while she began her decent into awe, her friend Corey went into a full fetal position right next to her in the grass. It was Bonaroo after all and the crowd was 50% hippies, with Tool bringing in a more intense, goth-like crowd. The worlds seemingly polarized with each other intermingled beneath the lasers.
There were people lighting grass on fire during the middle of a drought. There were groups of friends dancing. There were toilet conversations; discussing the current disgusting disarray of the port-a-potties. “You could hear people in there calling for Jesus.” When Tool finished playing there were two fully dreaded white people in the grass rolling around and making out to the point they were taking people out as they were wrapped in each others dreads. No matter what she saw, Itasha was tickled; mesmerized by all the happenings around her. A feeling of belonging overcame her. Her whole life she had been told by her parents not to do drugs. She heard horror stories of how bad it was. But there at Bonaroo, surrounded by happy dancing people, she finally felt like she belongs somewhere.
In 2010, at a small music festival somewhere in southern Illinois called Hoodilidoo, something else profound happened to Itasha. She was attending the festival with her friend’s band that also happened to be playing the very event they were attending. A member of their group emptied an entire vile of acid into a bottle of wine to be shared by the group. It was meant to be shared with the crowd, but only 10 people partook in his offering.
The band was scheduled to go on, but those not performing were physically incapable of entering the barn the were performing in. “I just couldn’t have a roof covering me. It got claustrophobic really quick.” In an attempt to remain free, Itasha stayed outside to watch the grass stack on top of itself while she listened to everyone around her talk while she was unable to form words at that point.
Excited to finally join the crowd, she went in to check out the band. There was a moment when everything seemed perfect. The whole crowd was into the band, everyone was having a good time. Suddenly, a member of the band began to vomit all over himself during their set. She then became overcome with embarrassment for them as she realized they were tripping so hard that they were stumbling their way through the music. Unable to further bear witness to the disaster before her, she ran outside and began vomiting and she continued to vomit for the remainder of the night.
Tragically, a week later, a member of that group would take his own life. Looking back on the aforementioned night at the festival, Itasha feels as though she saw the things she had always been warned about. The dark side of drugs, where they are used to escape, not enhance.
What Itasha remembers from that night isn’t the vomiting and the negative emotions. She remembers a very important lesson. remembers finding her threshold, her limit. She observed the behavior of herself and others, and with the ability to hold the good moments along with the bad, she learned that a loss of control is something she never wants to have again. She learned that she never wants to go so far that she can’t come back.
*The Utah Bee would like to remind readers to always partake responsibly. Some principles to consider: ensure you have a sober friend attending, place boundaries before partaking, and do not engage in activities that could possibly a danger to yourself or others.
