My Body

by DAISY THOMAS

Before I learned it was mine, I knew it wasn’t;
Play the part
Do what they say.
Choice was never an option.
I have a secret.
Happy girls are the prettiest.
And you’re so pretty.
You must be so happy.
This doesn’t make me happy.
Then let’s make you happy.
Now we have a secret.
And you can’t wash it away or wish it away
and you pray that it will all just end
And then it’s over
and you start to breathe again.
Until you can’t again.
Until it happens again.
Until you can’t take anymore and you scream silent
cries that fall on deaf ears and get slapped across the face by reality —
It was never yours in the first place.
But know this:
my life
my choice
I will fight tooth and nail for them
and for the children that live in death because
choice was never an option.