Micro-dosing: a personal journey
I just finished up eight weeks of microdosing mushrooms, and the positive improvements I’ve experienced have been compelling. Perhaps those hippies weren’t on something……but rather ON to something!
Microdosing is the practice of taking 1/10th to 1/20th of a full “journey” dose of psilocybin. The effects are sub-perceptual, you won’t be tripping at all, and the only thing you will “feel” is that you’re having a really great day.
This practice allows people to experience the creative benefits of psychedelic medicine, without the risk of the so-called “bad trips” that can come with higher doses of medicine. People microdose to decrease the frequency of undesirable states of being such as depression, anxiety, ADD/ADHD, PTSD, trauma, and deep migraine and cluster headaches. Microdosing in turn increases the frequency of desirable states of being such as productivity, flow-states, creativity, self-love, energy, and connection.
I chose to follow the Fadiman protocol, which is .25 mgs every three days for a total of two months. I also tripped—macrodosed— every seven to ten days during this time.
I was already a hard-core believer in mushrooms, so I came into this with some pretty demanding expectations. I wanted to be able to see tangible, legitimate improvements that I wasn’t grasping for or trying to make fit into my “agenda”, and the improvements needed verifiable data to back them up.
Journaling as I went along, I identified five areas of my life elevated by microdosing, all changes occurring after I started. And it goes a little something like this:
Tangible effect No. One: I’ve started taking 100% ownership and authority of my writing that I long yearned for. Like saying the word “fuck.” My poor sweet mother, who has long yearned for me to write about only honest, true, chaste, benevolent, and virtuous things, messaged me early last week. She asked me to remove the eff word from my latest post. I politely declined.
THIS. NEVER. HAPPENS.
Glennon Doyle wrote, “A woman becomes a responsible parent when she stops being an obedient daughter.” Writing my truth and being unashamed has meant everything to my scarred psyche and my battered soul. I am woman, and I am roaring.
Tangible effect No. Two: My editing process has 100% changed with my last two pieces.
I have never written professionally and my editing process has been a disaster. There IS no process, so I’ve been basically throwing stuff at the wall until something sticks. I’ve been disorganized, had no plan, and had no clue. Suddenly now everything makes sense and I know how I want to organize it and what needs to be cut. Since microdosing, I’ve done an editing 180. Who am I? And does anybody know if I get a medal for this?
Tangible effect No. Three: I handled extreme crises and difficult situations like a boss.
What better way to test if microdosing actually helps than my husband’s stage one bladder cancer returning three weeks ago? Obviously I am not okay with this, but I AM clear and present and (mostly) calm. With his first diagnosis last fall, I was numb for a few weeks and then fell apart, going down for days.
I experienced one incoherent sobbing meltdown for about 5 hours a week ago, but I was up and dressed the next day and met a friend for lunch. I have a long history with not coping well, and I am currently (mostly) handling my shit. This is another BIG DEAL.
Tangible effect No. Four: My energy is increasing!
Trauma has taken a huge toll on this old girl physically, and I have to keep reminding people that I’m much too young to be this damn old. But then my body says “fuck that!” and falls asleep at 8:30 pm. Which has been my bedtime for over a year. This past month I’ve averaged an 11:00 pm lights out. Sometimes I even stay up as late as midnight. I’m practically a teen!
Tangible effect No. Five: My mindfulness is WAY UP.
Dr. James Fadiman, the father of microdosing, said “Awareness Cures” summarizes an amazing amount of what we do with our lives, and microdosing increases awareness.”
My husband and I have both observed that our conflicts are almost non-existent. We aren’t big fighters per se, but any drama lately between us has been solved very quickly. And our life has been overflowing with cancer drama. But I am getting better at observing before attacking. And believe you me—this has never been my strong suite.
I would 100% recommend macrodosing every 7-10 days during your protocol, as it will give you maximum medicine effectiveness. The macrodoses teach you about yourself, your trauma, and how to reprogram your mind. The microdoses help you bring those messages into your everyday life. They push you in the right direction, but are mostly bandaids, as indicated by the frequency you need to take them. They make you feel good and, for some, it’s enough to allow themselves to heal. It’s been MORE than enough to help me heal.
I have to take a two week break from microdosing starting tomorrow and I’m bummed. However, I am confident that I’ll be able to wait (semi) patiently, because I have good things here with me and know great things are coming. This helps.
Also marijuana helps. Lots, just FYI.