Plant-Medicine Pioneer and Ayahuasca
The Utah Bee is committed to exploring and reporting on plant medicines and their benefits, as we believe there are many pathways towards consistent, quality mental health. In this series, we will be exploring one woman's personal journey as she discovers plant medicines that work for her as she navigates mental blockages and works through lifelong traumas.
We are grateful to Mindi, a 50+-year-old lifelong Utahn from pioneer-stock, for her willingness to share her experiences within the psychedelic / entheogen experience. As we follow her forays into various plant-based medicines for mental health healing, we must recommend readers do their own research and discuss alternative medications and therapeutic options with their family physician, as everyone has different healthcare needs and requirements.
We also acknowledge that each person's psychedelic experiences will be different and highly personal. In all cases, we encourage safety first.
I had my first ayahuasca experience several weeks ago. It was that uh-MAY-zing.
Ayahuasca is a psychoactive tea that originates from the Amazon region and has been used by traditional healers in religious ceremonies for centuries. Properties of the powerful ayahuasca brew cause people to experience changes in their mood, thinking, and behavior. Ayahuasca is referred to as "mother", I will be doing that too. She is nurturing, patient, and wise.
With this inaugural ceremony, I embarked on my personal pioneer trek with plant medicine. I realize that for many, plant medicine is new and scary and any experience that involves hallucinogens will immediately be dismissed.
Being raised in an Orthodox Mormon home, I was taught that everything mystical was bad: astrology, energy healing, psychics = OF THE DEVIL. I left my childhood religion three years ago, and the experience was horribly painful and left me raw. It was hard for me to be unbiased towards the church for a long time, but I've worked hard to come to some neutral ground and can still hold space for those who believe.
I understand why the LDS church (or any church) would discourage the use of alternative medicine/shamans/energy to their members. The LDS church wants their members to use the church's own personal brand of mysticism/healing/power/energy. Which in this neck of the woods happens to be the Priesthood use of blessings.
Now I say to you, including all of my LDS friends and family: I support your right and your choice to believe in and use your own personal brand of spiritual healing.Can I hope for the same respect and courtesy of my sacred process from you? As I embark on this journey, I ask you to keep your mind open and your heart curious. I believe you can have both.
As a woman who had always struggled fitting into religion, I have finally found a version of worship that appeals to and works for me- I cannot deny that ayahuasca helped me answer some hard questions I'd long been struggling with, and it was a super-balm to my wounded soul.
That wounding included the time when I left my ex-husband of 27 years. I mourn him still. He, my girls and I went through so much pain during those last few months of our marriage, and the trauma was inescapable. Three years later I'm still devastated, filled with grief, shame, and regret. But mother ayahuasca came to me, took my face into her hands, and told me that my ex and I did the very best that we could with what we had. She showed me how much we had truly loved each other and how hard we tried.
I feel radiant and strong and clear and confident. I am finally healing.