Dear Martha: I have a crush

by MARTHA

Dear Martha:

Of all the families in the world, mine is the craziest. Growing up, my parents were friends with another couple about their age. Actually, “friends” understates it. My dad had an affair with the wife—so far, pretty normal. But then, it gets weird. Turns out, my mom was having an affair with the husband at the same time. When this all came to light, the four of them did the obvious thing and just switched spouses. So, now I am a member of two blended families, but the kids in both blended families are the same kids. It sounds weird, but it’s OK.

But, there is a problem. See, I have a really great relationship with one of my double-step-sisters. Of all the girls I know, she gets me the best, and she says the same thing about me in regard to other boys she knows or has dated. So far, we have done things together as “siblings,” but I think I’d like to actually date her. I’m not sure, but I suspect she feels the same.

Is this just too weird? I would be dating a girl who is actually a member of my family. We live in the same house some of the time! It feels incestuous, but really we are not related at all. Still, it just feels so awkward.

What do you think?

Sincerely,

Conflicted

Dear Conflicted,

Wow! Your story took some twists and turns! So quickly! In just a few short paragraphs!

My short answer is yes, it’s too weird. Well, weird isn’t really the right word. Risky is maybe a better one. Relationships are hard. Even the easy ones. Consider the consequences if things went south. What would life look like if your relationship with her was ruined? I don’t mean to sound so cynical. I’m not rooting against you. I’m trying to look at the big picture.

I think it’s also inaccurate to say you’re not related at all. You may not be related by blood, but you are part of two family units together. That’s a whole lot of relation.

You may not agree, but I am also of the mind that there is a whole lot more than just ONE person in the world for you. Try my theory out and see if you can find someone else that you click with. I would bet a lot of money you can.

Yours respectfully,

Martha

If you have a question you’d like Martha to answer, please email it to DearMartha@theUtahBee.com. To read past advice from Martha go here.